Speedy Gonzalez.

15 days ’til Disneyland.

85 days ’til the Wine and Dine

147 days ’til the Marathon.

And I’m spending my time thinking about the Marathon. Last night I put together my  MARATHON  training schedule (I decided to go with Higdon’s) and began planning out my strategy. Putting in the runs, the distances and the dates also helped me think about whether or not I wanted to substitute a race for a long run (one will be the Wine & Dine). Considering my options, I found a 10k in my backyard and I really want to do the Staten Island 1/2 Marathon and not just because I’m dangerously thinking “I’d love to do the NYC marathon…” and could do the 9+1 race requirements to automatically qualify for it next year…

This prompted me to look around and see what the cut off time was for the marathon. 8.5 hours. I not only found the cut off time, I also found a sweet little article from (who else?) the New York Times in 2009 complaining about the “slow” people who take too long to finish, “whine” because they pay as much as the fast people, and quoting people who say things like “It used to be that running a marathon was worth something-there used to be a pride saying that you ran a marathon, but not anymore. Now it’s, ‘how low is the bar?'” and my personal favorite, “I always ask those people, ‘What was your time?’ If it’s six hours or more, I say, ‘Oh great, that’s fine, but you didn’t really run it.’ ” *awkward silence on my end.*

My cousin told me I was too slow for a marathon. She ran one once, was crippled for a month, and now she’s retired as some kind of running god. “If you’re going to do it in anything over 8 minutes a mile, you might as well not bother” she told me. I’m glad she’s the only tool I’ve met in person.

As far as I’m concerned, their self-righteous, sanctimonious attitudes can kiss my butt, which should be easy to keep up with since it’s so slow. It takes a hell of a lot more for me to go out and do this than it does for them and I’m quite happy that aside from my idiot relative I haven’t encountered many of these people. My only friend who runs seriously (or at all…) has been nothing but supportive. When I saw her at a 10k, she said to me, “I’m so sorry I never thought of you as a runner!” I told her not to worry, “That was because you knew me!” She re-ran the last 2 tenths of a mile with me and was nothing but encouraging, “just shut up and run! And smile for the finish photo!” were her exact words. When I apologized for my slow pace, she said, “You got out there and you did it. In time, you’ll do it faster but you’ve nothing to apologize for.”
The real up side of having a fast friend? They save you your favorite bagel at the finish.


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