The Wrong Direction

It’s like that Lifetime movie, a Killer Among Friends, the Patty Duke and Kelly Kapowski ’90s version, not the new one they just came out with: Ben and Jerry are Ellen, the girl with serious psychotic issues who is a bad influence on Kelly, getting her to do things like shoplift and eat french fries for no apparent reason. On Saved by the Bell, Ben and Jerry would be the ones selling caffeine pills to Jessie, leading her to have a nervous breakdown and sing: “I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so…. SCARED!” If this were Days of Our Lives, they’d be the DiMera family.

When the weight’s going down, it’s easier to avoid these people. After a year of being on a diet and consciously trying to losing weight, I’ve stayed away from my bad friends, seeing them in moderation but never letting them sway me to the dark side. Entemann, Bagel Bob, Tate, Ben, Jerry, Hagen, Dazs, Carvel, Alfredo… They’re all smoking in the bathroom and I refuse to join them except for the occasional puff and only when I had a free period anyway.

But today, the scale went up. 3 pounds up. And I’m thinking I’ve been spending more time in the girls’ bathroom than I realize. So it’s back on the wagon, writing down what I’m eating and keeping careful track of how many calories I consume each day. This morning’s weighing was actually a lot like that episode of Saved By the Bell–I started out hoping to be lower thinking, “I’m so excited, I’m so excited…” then the weight came in and I was oh-so-f$#%ing scared.


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