This morning I woke up extra early to cheer on the participants in the Marine Corps Marathon. Okay, it wasn’t completely altruistic since the classic rock cover band started doing its sound check down the street at 7:30am so I had no choice but to get up. I stayed pretty much from the first wheelchair to the last straggling walker. My words of encouragement:
1. You know how people yell, “you look great”? They’re huge liars, chances are you don’t look great, you look like hell. Especially when you get to the back of the pack people, those people make it look like an incredibly painful experience except for the few people who may or may not have just rolled out of bed and onto the course by accident. I couldn’t even lie to these people, I just yelled, “You look like shit but keep running anyway!”
2. When cheering, you never know whether or not to tell people to keep running because maybe they’re doing the Galloway. Instead, I found “Keep running! Unless your run/walk ratio says otherwise, then just do that!” to be an effective cheer.
3. For the people who passed after the band stopped playing, I told them “You’re lucky! They sucked anyway!”
4. “Bet that 1/2 marathon’s looking pretty good now, huh?!”
5. “I’m exhausted just clapping for you all.”