Consider this the first part in a series on my marathon weekend plans.
As we rapidly approach the trip, one week from tomorrow, I feel the need to compulsively obsess about every little detail. I know, shocking! So we’re booked at the Port Orleans Riverside. I originally wanted the Boardwalk Inn but then my wallet called and reminded me I’m not Nelson Rockefeller so that went out the window and when I found out that Riverside had a room only discount and the French Quarter didn’t, well, I quickly changed.
So here I am getting ready to stay at a resort whose theme is just, well, for someone who spent a lot of time studying African American history and specializing in the Civil Rights movement is, um, problematic? The French Quarter passes for a quaint interpretation of New Orleans without the high crime rate or poverty while Port Orleans Riverside has the Magnolia Bend section which can best be described as… um… plantation like? Yeah. It’s like Song of the South or the Crows from Dumbo. It can make you really uncomfortable if you think about it for more than 5 seconds. Go ahead, think about it. Mmm hmm. But obviously this doesn’t bother me enough to make me stay at another hotel so I’m really a part of the problem and not the solution.
Anyway, I was only too happy to take the discounted Royal Room because while the plantation manner was problematic it was definitely preferable to the Alligator Bayou section because I’m a Yankee and I’m not staying in anything that has bayou in the name. It’s a little too Deliverance for my vacation tastes. Think about Port Orleans this way: You go from the city to the country to the back woods where everyone wears overalls and plays the banjo.
I love Port Orleans French Quarter because compared to the other moderate hotels it’s tiny, teeny tiny. The streets are cute, yadda yadda yadda. But most important of all the French Quarter is the only place in Disney World to get Beignets and since I’m never going to New Orleans this is it for me. When last I was there the beignet fryer kept breaking which was breaking my heart but they are amazing.
These are different from the Disneyland beignets. The Disneyland Mint Julep bar goes the extra mile and shapes them like Mickey Mouse and they are, I think, a little more dough-y than the French Quarter. Anyway, you get the idea: it’s fried dough.
So Thursday night is check in, Monday morning is check out, and I’ll be getting there and back on the Magical Express bus. It’s not the quickest way to get to your hotel, but Disney puts some themed crap on the side so it feels more magical and you’re willing to sit there for 40 minutes like a schmuck because it has a video with Walt and it feels like you’re already on a ride and if there’s one thing you need when you travel to Disney it’s this: your patience and ability to wait. And wait. And wait.