Buzz Kill

Leaving warm, sunny Florida for cold, damp, rainy DC was a bit of a buzz kill. Post marathon, I felt really good and in fact tomorrow I’m going to go out for a short, easy run and save tonight for some light yoga. The return to life as it was, albeit without the pre-marathon mileage, has proved something of a buzz kill, though. Not everyone can keep their unsolicited opinions to themselves and haters gonna hate, so what’s a girl to do? Here is my guide for responding to the people who take it upon themselves to kill your buzz when you didn’t even bring up the marathon in the first place.

You slow people are what’s ruining road racing for the serious competitive runners! This is floating around out there and people will say things like this you, especially when you get up to the marathon because apparently this race belongs only to the swift. Nice try, guys. “Oh, you didn’t win the race? You came in 31st? You were 10th in your division? Divisions are just ways of giving out prizes to people who didn’t come in, you know, first. I guess that makes you a finisher like me.”

The snobby people will be judgmental about your time, about saying you didn’t run, but you know what, if they kill your buzz it’s your own fault. And this buzz kill was totally my own fault. Two years ago I felt bad about myself because I didn’t run, I couldn’t run, and a marathon was so outside the realm of possibility, and now I’m letting myself feel ashamed and embarrassed because I did a marathon I just didn’t do it according to some black-spandex-wearing-asshole’s (or for that matter another person who just doesn’t even run’s) specifications.

My co-workers speculated that I may be autistic or have addiction problems, hence my desire to do a marathon. “Yes, but what is it when you spend the same amount of time sitting on your butt watching baseball? I know there’s a problem there I just haven’t cared enough to give you that opinion or faux diagnose you at the lunch table.”

The moral of this story: Only you can kill your buzz. And self-proclaimed serious runners can seriously bite me.

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