Brooklyn 1/2

264455_10151434035322409_347706226_nNew York Roadrunners has gotten really into promoting the Brooklyn half. I’m kind of peeved with them, though, since they reopened the race and now it’s bigger and I’m still at the back of the pack. Does everyone in New York run faster than me? No, really. Given how crowded the Central Park races have been, I’m annoyed about starting so far back in the second wave (which takes off 35 minutes after the first). Although Disney does the responsible thing and sets the corrals off individually, NYRR just collapses the corrals and sends you off in one giant blob of runners.

Awesome. Thanks, guys.

Aside from that, this is definitely the Brooklyn of today and not the Brooklyn of yesteryear. A friend is coming with me to the pre-race “party” to pick up my number. There will be locally sourced, sustainable/vegan/gluten-free/artisan food vendors, DJs like Har Mar Superstar, and of course a beer garden (as my friend asked, “with locally brewed, organic, artisanal micro brews?” Me: “Um, duh. What do you think this is? Staten Island?”). She asked if we could go dressed as hipsters, and then wondered if dressing ironically as hipsters at a hipster-ish event made us in turn hipsters since irony is a defining component of their character.

You are only as good as your most obscure band. Deal with it.

I told her I needed to drink more to have that conversation. Regardless, I made a solemn promise to look in my closet for ironic t-shirts, fake glasses, and fugly vintage clothing from my undergrad days. As graduates of NYU, we are well versed in the language of the hip having spent so much time at South Paw and the Bowery Ballroom and Mercury Lounge before those all just became soooooooooooooooooooo commercial and Brooklyn was no longer a place you could go to escape all the dbags who wouldn’t leave Manhattan because they were all afraid of Brooklyn.

Ah, misty water colored memories.

943319_581803601854357_777354326_nMoving on. I have no hopes for this race aside from getting fries at Nathan’s at the finish and meeting up with the cute guy who hit on me at the United Arab Emirates 10k last weekend.. My parents are setting up beach chairs on Coney Island as are some friends and the weather looks promising compared to last Saturday. After taking a quick look at the places offering discounts to runners, I said, “screw this nouveau hipster sh$t. I’m heading to Spumoni Gardens where nothing’s organic, local, or humane and they definitely bribed the health inspector to get the A rating.” There’s the Brooklyn I know and love. And once that’s over, it’s home to stretch out, relax, and carbo load for day 2 and the Superhero 1/2 Marathon in Morristown.


4 thoughts on “Brooklyn 1/2

  1. I felt that way (about NYRR) when I did the More half this year (my first half marathon). I finished my qualifying 10K with a 10min mile pace and was still in the last corral with all the walkers. Between that and NYRR’s horrific registration fees…their races are a bit low on my list. Saying that, I’d go back to More ’cause it’s all ladies…but..otherwise, eh..

      • Well…it’s hard for us real ladies to beat those bird boned, skinny-hipped girls, I guess. Are you doing the 9+1 for entry to THE marathon in ’14? I thought of you (and I would LOVE for this to happen) when I saw this article: Two years ago Bloomberg actually put a stop to some inexpensive and family friendly races that used to happen in Van Cortlandt Park – ostensibly because they were “holiday related”. Humph!

      • Everyone was all shocked about Bloomberg and the marathon and I’m sitting around saying, “What? you didn’t know he was a tool? Isn’t this common knowledge??”
        Yup, THE marathon–thankfully Boston kind of distracted people from the whole “runners are narcissistic, self-centered assholes in spandex” kick they were all on…

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