I have a 8-5 office job because surprisingly enough a 2:04 half marathon time doesn’t get you any sponsors. (Though you can get in on the ground floor and I am cheap so, you know, let me know.) Generally speaking, I’m cool with my job. It pays me a living wage, I don’t typically want to gouge out my eyes with a plastic spoon by the end of the day… There’s the health insurance, too.
But we got a new boss. So, you know, now there’s that. The new person comes in and wants to micro manage everything and they’ve got something to prove. Then they start telling you not to “fluff” them and you’re like, “I don’t even know what that is, so I don’t think I could do it…”
Then I got the calendar invite for a “meet and greet” one on one meeting with my new boss. I think we all know what that’s code for-”I’m the new boss and I’m laying down the law.” And the first question I get asked is whether I’m married and the second question is if I have children.
Not applicable. Next question, please.
There are many things I can live with, but the personal questions asked under the BS corporate jargon excuse of “work-life balance” is not one of them. In fact, I assert that marital and parental status are in no way indicative of what that balance should look like. My status as a single, unwed, barren woman in no way means that I will stay late so that you can go home to your children at 4:00 pm every day. It also doesn’t mean that I stay in my windowless office late to do work when I don’t have to, despite not getting paid overtime, you know, because I don’t have anything better to do with my time.
Listen, kudos to you for having a family. I will listen to you regale me with stories of the adorable things your children do. I will listen to you tell me about their little league games and recitals. I will even nod and pretend like I care while I patiently watch the videos you have on your phone of your family doing adorable things even though I’d much rather hear cute cat stories from my other coworker with 4 cats. One of them pees in the shower and I find that infinitely more fascinating. And no, I don’t even ask that you feign interest in my life outside of work. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t, I’m fine with not talking about myself.
But don’t inaccurately associate my work-life balance with my marital and parental status. And no, I don’t want to hear your thoughts on running as a form of exercise.