I was never a big shopper at any store other than Target. Especially not J.Crew. That is, until I got an office job where apparently clean jeans + clean shirt = dressing up was an equation no one quite understood despite their extensive math backgrounds. Go figure.
Typically, my clothing falls into one of three categories: I run in it, I work in it, I sleep in it. The bonus category being the two pairs of jeans I own that I pair with race shirts that says, “I’m dressed schlumpy now, but it’s okay because I did a half marathon! (6 months ago!)”
So when the J.Crew factory outlet announced their 50% off everything in the store sale, I decided it was time to stock up some summer office wear and forced my mother to drive me to ye olde Liberty Village outlet mall in Flemington, NJ. As I think we all know, our Founding Fathers (when they weren’t drowning puppies or having illicit affairs with their slaves) were fighting for freedom… freedom from retail prices! (Consumer rights and fair prices for manufactured goods did in fact play a role in the American Revolution and colonial rebellion, see here for legitimate scholarly argument.)
The place looked like a bomb went off. As a note, you know how you always get those coupons in emails that stuff’s on sale? I’ve monitored the J.Crew factory emails enough to know 50% off everything was a good deal that only came around once before on cyber Monday. Typically, the discount is closer to 10-30% off select items like new arrivals. Apparently everyone else realized this, too.
After spending 30 minutes in a dressing with my mother as she tried on a succession of dresses and lamented how fat she was (while saying she never called herself fat) and my pointing out that this was why I had terrible self-esteem and body issues, we left and I had enough clothing to take me through September. All deeply discounted. Thank you, retail workers, for your service to our country because that’s apparently what Memorial Day means now: shopping. It works out well, though, since my great grandmother died Memorial Day weekend a few years ago. It seems rather appropriate.
I did run. Kind of. 6 miles on Sunday and 2 on Monday. That mitigated the guilt I felt when we went to Carvel after dinner. Typically, people get ice cream sundaes with hot fudge. I love going to Carvel when the high school kids are working and they couldn’t give a sh$t about what they’re doing so they let you get a cup of just hot fudge. I started eating it in the car and thought that I really had no need for any ice cream, Carvel hot fudge is just that delicious, thick and amazing it need not top anything.
Jaws rounded out the weekend and left me saying to all my friends, “here’s to swimming with bow legged women!” and also a firm resolve to not go into the ocean in Bermuda. Sure, people pee in pools but let’s be honest: death by second hand pee is a lot less terrifying than death by man eating shark. I think. Maybe.
Who else had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend?