Did you know at fancier gyms they have treadmills with fans and cable televisions that actually work? And there’s air conditioning and climate control? So you can legitimately watch Sixteen Candles while you do your weekend long run and not be completely covered in sweat that just never dries off because it’s 95% humidity outside and you keep running the same loop of hills over and over again whilst being attacked by atomic sized bugs because your parents live in a rural area?
WTF, why did I spend the whole summer running outside?
After 8.5 miles of outdoor running on Saturday, I couldn’t take the humidity anymore. I was covered and soaked in sweat and still had another 8.5 miles to do so I did what I needed to: I took my sister’s gym card and headed to the gym. I was insane to run outside at all. I could’ve been watching Sixteen Candles and getting my run in–the only way to improve on that is to have a Back to the Future marathon while I’m running the actual marathon.
There’s one way of having the Marine Corps Marathon go faster.
I also learned that gyms have these really interesting rules–apparently it’s considered rude to stare at other people while they work out, but surely this isn’t a problem because everyone has a television. And then you can’t take photos or anything but then how do you take a selfie to prove to everyone on facebook that you worked out? Obviously this rule is not followed.
I always read about people doing their long run before work. “I ran 16 miles before I headed to work this morning! Glad to get that out of the way.” I don’t understand this because basically I’d have to start running at 1am to be ready to go into work on time and second, after my long runs I feel like I’m ready to just take a nap, not do actual work that requires me to think and not, you know, make huge mistakes.
While my parents’ home is not ideal for long runs, there is one way in which it is far superior to my own home in that it has a bathtub so I can combine two of my three favorite post run activities: getting cleaned up, sitting down, and, if I totally ignore my mother’s screams, possibly also have a snack.
How was everyone else’s long run? Did you run Disneyland?! Because if you did I’m totally jealous.