I’d say I came out of an 18 mile long run pretty well when I can be at the bagel store at the end and totally embarrass the girl I was running with when I start dancing along with House of Pain’s “Jump Around.” There came a point in my life where I stopped giving a f$%k about embarrassing myself.
It wasn’t a fast 18 miles by any stretch of the imagination, and I definitely feel like I could’ve done better. I mean, I am after all still walking around pain free with virtually no problems. But I ended up alongside a girl who was really fun and had my sense of humor and how can you not enjoy and want to prolong 18 miles with someone who is also sarcastic and snarky? Exactly.
Coaching someone to their personal distance record is also quite exciting. I think I have a future in motivational speaking as I cheered her on to the finish with such pearls of wisdom as:
–“Your mother’s love is contingent on you finishing your marathon.”
–“Are you seriously going to let that old man pass us?”
–“You’re 9 miles away from DC in the middle of nowhere without any money or phone and with a total stranger–I’d keep moving if I were you.”
–“I’d say we could steal their cooler, but that means you’re really going to have to move faster.”
–“JOEY FATONE did a marathon, are you going to let JOEY FATONE best you in anything?!”
–“There are maple bacon cupcakes at the end of this–now you have a reason to live!”
Perhaps I will look into podcasts and a by the mile service for people who want to rent me for long runs in and around DC. Even better, I came out of this and my knee didn’t hurt ONCE. VICTORY.