In the spirit of active recovery, I spent the day after my long run doing a free yoga class in Gtown. Yeah that’s right, I did a yoga class of my own free will. Of course, beforehand in the true spirit of yoga there were people showing off and then there were the girls who insist on “saving” the entire floor for their friends who aren’t there and I was reminded of why I hate yoga classes. I thought it’d be this great, easy beginner everyone’s welcome let’s stretch ourselves out kind of thing, especially when she started talking about some kind of third eye and speaking in what was essentially gibberish to me.
Then she started saying how she really believes in the power of plank poses and push ups.
Shit. Now that I understood.
Her: Let’s do some more chair poses! [I call this one sit on the toilet]
My quads: HAHAHAHA. No.
Her: Hold it for a whole minute!
My quads: F#$k you, you can’t be serious. After everything we did for you yesterday?!
Her: Let’s do flying eagle!
My quads: If you dare ask us to do this you will seriously regret it and we have the GI tract on our side.
I apologized profusely and treated said quads to a German chocolate cupcake and a new Lifetime movie to which they responded, “Oh my god, now was that so hard?”
Also in the spirit of active recovery I headed to the new home goods in Georgetown because someone heard I was on a tight budget so they decided to open a store filled with things I can’t say no to. I have no trouble not buying “career” clothing but seriously, throw pillows and kitchen gadgets and seasonal decor? How am I supposed to turn that down? And they even had a bust that looked like it belonged in the Haunted Mansion library! All ghost stories, of course. And so many throw pillows, so little couch…