I suspect I have IT band problems and this is what is bothering my knee. This is my uneducated medical opinion, and seeing as how this is basically how I have gotten through life up to this point I’m going to just go with it. So to help myself out, I busted out the foam roller, the rolling pin, and the yoga stretching videos. I was going to be responsible.
Except, I can’t foam roll my IT band. No, really. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m in an awkward position and I lack the requisite grace, dexterity, core strength, upper body strength, and skill to position my legs like I see in the videos and online tutorials but 5 seconds after I start I’ve fallen over and decided “yeah, no, not for me.”
In fact, as I write this my foam roller is taunting me from the floor. Mocking me. Laughing. Smirking. Yes, my foam roller is basically a nasty, vicious animate object–isn’t everyone’s?