Those are my two bugaboos

Some people have fears of death or heights or dogs.

I’ve got two big bugaboos: portapotties and gym locker rooms. Today, we will discuss the latter.

At work, there is a 24/7 gym where people go to exercise and many of my co-workers use it either before work or during the workday. They enjoy it and they’re all, “heading to the gym now!” and I wave good bye to them, wish them well on their voyage to a healthy lifestyle, and then 5 minutes later when I need something from them I’m cursing them and their god damn inconvenient healthy lifestyle. But that’s a story for another day.

While on a practical level, I understand the idea behind going to the gym at work, I fundamentally could never do this because I will a) never work out in front of co-workers and b) once I was done with high school gym class I vowed to never again set foot in a locker room and/or Bath & Body Works.

Everything I’ve heard about adult gym locker rooms leads me to believe that this is a really prudent, dare I say, wise decision. Apparently, people like to hang out in there naked and just talk to everyone. Which is weird enough when they’re strangers, but seriously, I don’t want to see my boss naked. Ever. No. Really. In fact, I don’t want to see anyone I work with naked.

It’s weird enough seeing them in casual clothes at Trader Joe’s.

This is not limited to just changing clothes, this means I don’t venture into locker rooms at all, ever. Not even to store my stuff. I mentioned offhand to a friend that I’d go to the gym straight from work but where would I put all my crap while I’m on the treadmill? She stared at me and said “You know, they have these things called lockers and they put them in places called [does air quotes] ‘locker rooms’…” But as you now know, locker rooms are just off limits for me.

So if you’re looking for me, and can’t figure out where the hell I am, you can immediately eliminate all the locker rooms in the world because I won’t be in any of them.



12 thoughts on “Those are my two bugaboos

  1. Haha! My previous work gym was like this. At one point I avoided going to the gym before work at all costs to avoid some creepo that I worked with. And the l locker rooms were ridculuous. Not only would women just be walking around naked, but sometimes they would do weird things like cut their toenails on the floor. That is just too strange. Do that at home!

  2. Most of the time I have tunnel vision in the locker room, or follow Phil’s advice from “Hercules”: Just stare at the ground, people here are nuts.

  3. OMG! I was/am the same way! I hated going into the locker rooms! I never understood how these women were just walking around full on naked and having conversations with other women, while I’m trying to hide in a corner! It’s madness! I can’t even imagine seeing someone I work with there…talk about traumatic. I actually do workout during work, but it’s different now because no one here goes to my CrossFit and they have private bathrooms/showers there, so yay! This is also pretty convenient since I ended up the only girl in class on a regular basis.

  4. Oh my goodness, now that I’ve been going to a pool to swim my eyes have been victim to naked old ladies just casually walking around the locker room! What the heck!?!

    Do you read Swim, Bike, Mom? It’s a triathlon blog, but she always talks about stuff like this (in her book too), it’s hysterical.

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