I finally used my health insurance and went to see a physical therapist about my running problem.
I headed out to Rockville, Maryland and it’s a huge pain in the ass to get out there from DC but the place is actually technically near the White Flint metro stop. [Have you ever seen people walking on the side of an 8 lane road and wondered what the fuck they were doing in this place that was so obviously not meant for people to walk there? that was me today.]
I would say it was, all in all, totally worth the trip. I originally had an earlier appointment but they called on Monday to say a 5pm appointment had opened up so that meant I didn’t have to leave work quite as late. Great. The receptionist, Sheila, is incredibly nice over the phone and in person. She knew more about my insurance than I did and said I only needed to pay a $25 copay (they accepted cash/check/credit card) and that was it, they’d take care of everything else.
My appointment was with Rachel Miller, who is medical director at the Cherry Blossom 10 miler. She’s a runner and was hands down awesome. There was lots of testing, moving, watching, treadmilling, and finally she looked at me and said, “Your knee. It’s fine.”
Long story short (too late) my ass and core haven’t been pulling their weight and that’s what is causing the knee pain. She said, “Honestly, if you didn’t run, you wouldn’t have this problem but since not running is not an option, let’s see what we can do for you.” She went through exercises with me, we talked about cadence, and she showed me how to do everything correctly.
My mother was relieved to have a medical professional declare that I do not need knee surgery.
On the one hand, it’s a relief to know that nothing is wrong.
On the other hand, it’s kind of… I don’t know. I almost now feel like I’m imagining this pain. Like I did this to myself and I’m just using it as an excuse for being a crappy runner because that’s what I am. A crappy, out of shape, terrible, runner.
Even after 2 years of being what one might call “active,” I’m still not physically fit by any stretch of the imagination. It’s kind of frustrating. It’s like I’m trapped in this cycle of nothing ever being enough. I start running, not enough. I run more miles, not enough. I don’t just run I start rowing 4 days a week. Still not enough. I start doing yoga. Nope, still not enough. Still fat, still out of shape.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just too hard on myself but then I can’t help but think I’m hard on myself because I’m a fat, lazy person as evidenced by the current state of my stomach muscles.
Ugh. But anyway, she was great and I enjoyed it a lot. If I could get the time off work, I’d go once a week for 6 weeks like she recommended (she also said to max out at 4 days of running for marathon training) but since that’s not happening I’m hoping I can work out going every other week… maybe?