So, you know why I have issues with weddings, but lest you think that I hate love I will tell you about that one time I tried online dating.
It was the most horrifying 5 minutes of my life.
You know, the older you get the harder it is to meet people. And when you do meet people, they’re all married or in long term relationships and at that point you just resign yourself to being single forever. Running groups? Well, if you’re going to meet men I suggest you up your pace because all the men ran faster that I did. On top of that, the men that show up are all a minimum of 15-20 years older than me. Rowing a good place to meet guys? Only if you want them in their 60s and married! Oh, and if you’re picturing the really hot guys in their spandex shorts nice try–you’re in a boat with three chunky old men who should really be stopped from wearing spandex.
So maybe you start thinking you’ll try online dating because you have a friend who met her future husband on J Date and they were in some of the J Date promotional materials so there’s gotta be something to it, right? I remember being a member of the JCC (no, I’m not Jewish, but yes, I was a member of the Jewish Community Center where one of their selling points for the gym is “it’s a great place to meet some nice boys”<–not kidding. That was verbatim in the tour along with, “I met my husband here!”) and they had a whole photography class that was dedicated to taking pictures for J Date profiles. They took that shit seriously.
Five minutes after I started a profile on a non J Date dating website, I canceled the account because I had received 3 messages that were all kind of sexually graphic and horrifying from men whose age was listed as 45 but I think we all know that that was probably rounded down significantly. Nowhere were the polished portraits I had seen being taken at the JCC. In their stead were grainy selfies taken in dark bathrooms.
So yeah, I tried online dating and it didn’t work. Anyone have any experience with online dating?