I was once a really strange person in that I never get drunk. In fact, I’ve never been able to drink alcoholic beverages because all I taste is this bitter, acidic, boozy flavor that just makes me want to gag and it never really seemed worth it to drink other things to cover up the taste of alcohol when I could just not drink the alcohol and drink diet Coke and be totally content. It’s not a prude thing, I wasn’t judging everyone around me for it, I just don’t like it. It’s like meat, it was just never my personal preference so to each his own.
That was in college. Now, I feel like once you get past the age of 30 getting shitfaced such that you can’t even walk yourself through a revolving door and starting to grope the woman sitting next to you under the table who is not your girlfriend who is as it turns out sitting across the table, you are inviting my judgement and disdain.
This latter part is the reason I have a very strong distaste for drunk men, who decide to take all kinds of liberties with their hands. Let’s talk about gender for a second. Am I in the wrong because I wore shorts and he sat next to me? Is he not responsible for his actions at all? Am I wrong to feel like this is completely unacceptable? No one else saw it happen, no one else noticed especially since they were all a little buzzed themselves. It’s moments like these when I feel gender the most, if that makes any sense. A few years ago I was on a crowded subway car, and there was a man who was being … well, anyway, I never rode the subway during rush hour again. I never told anyone that this happened, I just stopped riding the subway at rush hour and took the bus as much as possible. Thinking back on it, I still feel grossed out and filthy about it. Something that lasted less than 40 blocks on a subway car and 6 years later I still remember it.
I don’t find drunk people to be pleasant to be around, and maybe it’s their loss of self-control that makes me so nervous. This has started me thinking about how I am generally somewhat skittish around men as a default setting. I don’t like anyone touching me, I don’t like it when they crowd my personal space. Physical contact is one of those things that I just have some issues with, and I don’t know why exactly, but especially around men it takes a long time for me to feel comfortable with anything vaguely resembling contact. So what happened this weekend just made me really uncomfortable on a lot of levels. And maybe I’m just overreacting and it wasn’t a big deal, and when I told him to stop he stopped, but I feel like I shouldn’t have had to tell him to stop. He shouldn’t have started in the first place–hands shouldn’t go where they’re not invited. Is that wrong?
It was one of those moments where I really just wished I had my friend’s wife around. Some guy on a crowded metro car was placing his junk too close to her face and she punched him there. Hard.