The most frightening thing this Halloween

No, it’s not the damage that might befall your home at the hands of some reckless teens with too much time on their hands.
It’s not the scary movies filled with blood, guts, or gore or even that Criminal Minds episode that was on like 5 years ago and still manages to scare the shit out of you.
It’s not the mere thought that maybe on this night spirits will once again walk this earth along with evil entities a la Supernatural and kill you or possess your body.

No, my friends, there is something far, far more terrifying that has come into existence this Halloween season that will be with us no doubt for years, nay, decades to come.

And that, my friends, is a a bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups that aren’t even in wrappers. There are no wrappers. Yeah, that’s right, you can pop them right into your mouth and not only is the wrapper, the one thing that slowed the inevitable, endless march of candy from the bag to your mouth, gone but with the loss of the wrapper so too goes the mounting pile of evidence to the sin of gluttony that you have just engaged in for a mere 1-2 minutes, the one hope you had of realizing how far you’d gone before you reach the bottom. Literally the bottom. You won’t realize your foolishness until your hand hits the bottom of the bag.

That’s right, America, Satan had a little free time and came up with this evil, insidious item and it’ll be with your thighs…





6 thoughts on “The most frightening thing this Halloween

  1. We have MAYBE three sets of kids that come by my house to trick-or-treat so I just get a small bag of candy of crap that I don’t like. No Reese’s here because then I would eat them all. Break out the coconut!

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