Upside, Downside

IMG_4591I’m trying to figure out how I feel about the NYC Marathon and I’m having a hard time because I feel disappointed in myself but my friends were so wonderful it’s impossible to call the experience a bad one.

I was hoping that the last two months of bad runs would’ve ended up being a fluke and that I’d bounce back from them with a great marathon. That my fears would’ve been for nothing and all the hard work I put into trying to be a better runner would’ve resulted in some kind of improvement or at least stagnation as opposed to decline. After all, I started rowing in the first place in the hopes that I would be a better, faster runner. I started the Run Less, Run Faster plan because everyone I know said that it made them faster. I had dreams of getting better, not getting worse. Worse wasn’t in the plan.

But 2014 ended up being the year of worse. Worse 5k time, worse 10k time, worse half marathon time, and worse marathon times, not to mention weight gain. It was all worse. It was, across the board, worse, and there wasn’t some great bounceback where I came back stronger and better.

NYC has reaffirmed for me that things are changing a little bit. I’m keeping the Disney races I’m currently registered for (Dopey and Princess because snowball’s chance in hell I’m missing a Frozen medal), but deferring my NYC marathon guaranteed entry and my Big Sur entry to 2016.

Next year, there will be no spring half marathon season, no 3 half marathons in a 1 month span. There will be no fall marathon, either. 2015’s going to be the Year of Less, and not because I want a lower time but because I just need a break. Bouncing back from 2 consecutive disappointing marathons makes it hard to get excited for another one, to commit to the work and time it requires and after thinking about it I know it’s not in the cards for next year. NYC reaffirmed how I felt after Staten Island.

I don’t plan on spending the year on the couch. December starts winter conditioning with a local rowing club and there are plans to try out for some of DC’s more competitive club teams in the spring. And, oh yeah, I’m signing up to do a half marathon on the erg at the Mid-Atlantic sprints. I said I wasn’t going to run it, I didn’t say I wouldn’t erg it.

Oddly enough, and this is the crazy part, I do anticipate doing Wine and Dine in 2015 and Dopey in 2016. I know Dopey’s insane, but really I just want to see how long I can keep my legacy status. Plus, word on the street is some badass gang of Canadians plus one I-can’t-believe-she’s-not-Canadian Vermonter lead by one smokin’ fast granny are blowing into town for Wine & Dine next year. And you can bet all the maple syrup I’m not missing that.

So like Elsa said, fuck it all.

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9 thoughts on “Upside, Downside

  1. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. I know you don’t think your race was great, but you FINISHED A MARATHON IN INSANE CONDITIONS AND THAT IS FREAKING AWESOME! YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME!

    If you don’t mind it being a not super “fast” marathon, I would LOVE to give Big Sur a try and would try and to it in 2016 too! And damn straight you’re doing W&D! You’re never going to NOT want to do it after you run with me 🙂 but does this mean no more Dumbo?

    • Well, you know, races in a COSTUME that I get to run with fun people don’t count because those are like, dreams really do come true! Plus, my sister’s wedding is Halloween next year so apparently as maid of honor I have other obligations or something on the weekends. This is what my mom tells me.

  2. I’m sorry you’re not feeling super excited about running 😦 All I will say is, you finished a marathon, and that’s freaking cool. I will probably never finish a marathon, so you are automatically cooler than me. But we are going to have SO MUCH FREAKING FUN running W&D 2015! All the fun!

    • You know, I know a little lady in Queens who specializing in getting people over bridges during marathons sooooo… It’s a good time for a break, though, not rushing to do a bunch of races every weekend and just relaxing in the spring sounds positively heavenly!

  3. Team Can-Gram-Am to the rescue!!! W&D 2015 is going to be the race to end all races, history in the making, one that will go down in the annals of runDisney history as the MOST EPIC EVENT EVER. Grammas and syrup and baked goods will reign over all the darkness of 2014 and triumph in the end!

  4. Sometimes you just need a break! Don’t force yourself if you’re really not feeling up to it. Maybe if you take a bit of a racing break and just run occasionally for “fun” you’ll start to enjoy it again and won’t feel the pressure of races and time goals.

    And hey, if you get the itch to do a race you can always throw one in!

  5. I’m definitely looking at W&D 2015! And maybe the Dumbo Challenge? Not sure about that one… should save money. But if Pat still likes me then I’m going to try to drag him to W&D, and maybe corral him into the Jingle Jungle 5K. AND HE WILL LIKE IT.

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