I’ve now officially gained back 20 of the 45 lbs I lost between 2011-2013.
I’m a little angry with myself, but honestly I’ve kind of been anticipating this moment since the second I started loosing weight. I knew it was coming when my jeans, which were once loose and comfortable, no longer felt so loose or comfortable. For a fat girl, it’s the greatest fear to regain weight you’ve lost because you know how everyone felt about your fatter self. People tell you how much better you look without the weight. People say how you should never gain that weight back, ever. It confirms every fear you had that people thought you looked like a disgusting fat slob.
So I’m back to where I started. Tracking what I’m eating and drastically curtailing my food consumption. I’ve been terrible with eating and I know it, and I know that I basically don’t need to eat to live. In the event of a famine, I could go a really long time on basically nothing so that’s something of a silver lining. In the meantime, though, it means back to my really restricted eating and being a lot more careful about what I’m consuming.
So I’m back on the bandwagon and hoping I can stay there and that there will be less of me to get through the Dopey Challenge in January. Or at least that I don’t have to go out and buy all new pants for work because that is so not in the budget right now.