It’s like Sonny & Cher said, the beat goes on.
March upset the apple cart in a myriad of ways, and I’ve spent most of the month just trying to figure out what I’m doing. Sometimes, you think you know what you want, and you want to recapture something that you had only to find out it’s totally different now. Sometimes, my response to small changes and my displeasure with the status quo is to avoid confrontation and instead flee. I was bad at rowing my first week back, so I fled. I stopped going in the evening and I agreed to exclusively cox in the morning.
I’ve been having the same approach to running, as well. The Cherry Blossom 10 miler is this weekend and instead of being a) excited, b) well trained, or c) a combination of both, I’m instead unable to run 1 mile without feeling winded and tired.
Part of what’s thrown me off is the prospect of a job offer in California. My life as it is isn’t working, so my solution is to simply flee. Rationally, I know that moving 3,000 miles away won’t change what’s fundamentally wrong, it won’t make things better, but it would help me distance myself from the people who are currently angering me. The changes it would mean would be difficult adjustments, and yet I still feel like if I can’t outrun my problems by actually running, maybe an airplane and a few mountain ranges will help.