The Unease

IMG_5398-0It doesn’t matter how many marathons I do, I will always have this feeling that “This is  the time the marathon defeats me. This is the time I don’t finish.”

But honestly, more than the dread I’m looking forward to not having a marathon hanging over my head like a dark, ominous cloud for awhile once this is over. I’m looking forward to not feeling constant guilt because I’m not running enough. December is always a stressful month, not just because of the holidays but also my work schedule is just shot. I leave work in December feeling drained and exhausted, which usually means I don’t feel like running. I know, I know, I’m a terrible runner.

The plan is to survive Dopey, and oddly enough running “tired” doesn’t bother me too much–I actually run just fine on tired legs. My last year has been a practice in doing things tired. If I can survive back to back head races with no skin on my hands, I can get through Dopey. For some people, “getting through” the race isn’t enough but honestly, I’m proactively working on being happy with what works for me and not always emphasizing the shortcomings other people see in my life.

And I’m just happy to be going to Disney World and running. For fun.

So here’s to looking forward to a wonderful week of fun in Disney World.

Anyone else looking forward to lull in running and an “off season”?

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2 thoughts on “The Unease

  1. Absolutely looking forward to the lull! I was just telling someone that I dread this lead up to the marathon and that I can’t wait until it’s just me running whenever I feel like it with no pressure. At least you’ve done this race before so you know you can do it. I’m getting so nervous about it!

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