Long Story Short

When one delays doing laundry longer than she should, she ends up with the less desirable running clothes.  The dregs at the bottom of the barrel; the questionable items that are not in regular rotation for good reason. This is the story of the time I delayed doing laundry and threw out my hip trying to run in shorts that I never should’ve been wearing to run.

Oiselle Long Roga Shorts are advertised as follows:Screen Shot 2016-03-15 at 8.43.15 PMThey put it out there. They said they don’t ride up. Whatever magic, svelte unicorn tested these was full of rainbow glitter shit because it took my thighs less than half a mile to look like I was running around in a thong. ‘Cause picking your shorts out of your crotch is a great look.

So I’m running along, busting out some solid paces, so proud of myself as runners are, and we interrupt this run to pick the shorts out of my crotch. So I start running funny trying to run and pull them out. I’m running along, trying to figure out how to alter my leg movements so that my shorts stay where they are supposed to be for longer than 2 seconds.

I’ve got this nice little weird ass stride going and I throw out my hip on the right side. Today’s run I start having some not good pain in the hip again and I spent 4 miles cursing those god damn fucking shorts. I volunteer here and now to test shorts for running apparel manufacturers!

I WILL TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM AND TELL YOU IF THIS IS BIG THIGH TESTED, BIG THIGH APPROVED. These are strictly rowing shorts and I’ll try not to be foolish enough to run in them again.

I want to know, what’s your biggest gripe with running apparel size/fit/functionality?

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5 thoughts on “Long Story Short

  1. YES!! I even tried the running shorts with the compression shorts underneath which work ok but they have to be long enough for the compression shorts not to ride, and the outer shorts always bunch anyway so just make sure they are black on black so it’s not noticeable. Is it too much to ask for a semi long (but still cute) pair of running shorts that are 2-in- 1 that have a drawstring and a big phone pocket on the compression short part so it won’t move? That is the dream for me…

  2. This is my fear and gripe! I’m looking for new shorts right now and I am looking at Oiselle. My thighs are not small and I hate when shorts ride up. Then it’s run a few steps, swing the leg out, run a few steps, swing the other leg out. Grrr.

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